Yall, you rockin in yur new yeers rite by tooonin in ta more HISI. I thank mose aquantance shoods be furgot cause mose people borin as shit ennyway. Does yall? Ennyway rent still doo on the furss yew dedbeet fukers. Peace.
Nassee, Plain ole walk in on yur parents fukkin kinda nassee. I thot this 2 gals inna cup wuz juss an urbun ledgin. Hell this a kinda thang they used ta stone people over. Sumwun needa sick Tippy Gore on these sicko bitchiz. Ima pray far them.
Im kinely fraid I mite loose sum my queer fans far this HISI, but I warn this heffer not to try an upstage me on my show. Maybe is all them whoremones bitch gotta take ta shrink up her pecker en ets why she meen. Word to wise, cracktrannys cayunts tell the differnce tween reel munny & play munny so if yew broke an feelin freeky, go get you sum!
An PS...fanky to my Gess Direkker, Sara Howard-Winebarger. Bich prolly scar for life affur what she saw, bless her hart.
Don't yall hate it when yew call up a cussmer surviss an gits somebody wiff a hinju accsent. How hell yew gonna serviss yer cussmers when yew cants pranounce good English? Bad enuff anytime I needs a hotel ar gas I gotta heers it! Eyeroll plus a dubble SMH, yall!
The Brotherhood Telethon seeks recruits. Rikky and Willie perform. Justice delivers a call to arms.
Yall its time to face sum facks an realness that we doin to the Erf what Ike done did ta Tina. Awell, we all see who wunned that fite rite? Well I learned my lessun thar, an nex time I sees wun yall throwin garbidge outcher winder a yur trailor ar car ar even yew horse an buggy amish fukkers, ima rent me a limo, roll up behine ya an drag yur ass in far a high heel beatin a yur life!!! Damn I need a cocktail, yall got me stress agin.
Did yall knowed it a fellany to sen pichers a yur tiddies to sunwun on the lines even if they covert in whip creme? WFT!??! I thank that needa be publix knowledge. Ennyway nuffathat nonsense. Yall enner up in my contess an lets say the top five dudes an I gitsa gether at the Sak n Sudz an react that Jodie Fosser movee scene cauze fuck some Luv, that bitch is dead to me.
Dem HBICs over at CBS needa put ya gal Lo on that Gilligum Iland show whar they votes off the week an the biggest bich wins. Well who a bigger bich an yars trooly? Ets rite, notta damn sole. An jess a note case yall Jew pradusers awarchin my HISIs, get ridda that Radempashun Iland shit cause its borin and stoop.
Meet Tim Helsing, MONSTER HUNTER. He's about to teach a delinquent, BMX riding goblin an important lesson in car park related health and safety... WITH HIS FISTS!
To peoples that sez I only hatin on the bisexshul communitee cause sum dude leff me for dick I sez SO FUCKOFFANMINE YUR OWN GODDAM BIDNESS!!! Its my show an I can hate on anywun I wunts. Strates is for Breedin an Gays are Gods popalashin control, which I get into laters in a season, but whats a Bisexshul do cept spred the clap an crotch lice? Keep yur pubix bugs, nassee bichiz!
Flashback time... Season 2 begins with a glimpse at how this whole zombie infection apocalypse began, and the early days of the Internet video blog with fourth housemate Adam, an enthsiastic but ultimately doomed soul that we all miss dearly... Oh, spoiler alert!
An Empusa Demon was spotted eating cats just off a local bike route. Time for Tim Helsing, MONSTER HUNTER, to deliver a sound face kicking of justice.
Justice lays out his plan for operation cottonwood while He Bobby and She Bobby join the brotherhood to fight the good fight.
it off ol Obammers' back mans, cause lass time we hadda depreshin we hadda have a presdent far twelve year or sumthin like et ta fix et shit up. I thank I mite go backs to stripin cause they cant tax my munny cause only I counts my sangles an cause fads cum an goes and the ecominy ebbs and flows, but pussy is always poplar. An I thank it unfar yew cant use coupons far beet, that prejudiss ginst those of use who dont eets.
Things take a turn for the worst when Miles and Tony face an impossible decision that every zombie apocalypse survivor must face from time to time, when one of their own number, Hannah, is bitten by a dead head and succumbs to the zombie plague; can they save her? Do they want to? Should they just put her outside and have a cup of tea? But who will make it? Some of these questions may be answered...
Campers are going missing... nothing found but bags of toes. Tim Helsing and legendary vampire turned monster hunter Hannibal King venture into the woods and issue some serious vengeance.
If yall lets yur little wuns warch enny show wiff dis hore on it, well yew only gonna have yerself ablame when yew a granny in yur thirdies. She aint nothin but trash, pure trash whats family from some albina afferca-middle eese-lesbyana cuntry et raise they wimins ta be harem hores. Prolly hadda flee they home cuntry cause thet fat sisser a'hers needed ta drop a hunnert pounds less the goverment gonna take her ta markit. SMH BruceJenner, yew aint no Wheeties Box no more, yew look like a ken doll wiffa extra cromasone.
After the panic of Hannah getting bitten last episode, Miles and Tony find they have locked themselves out of the flat. They decide to travel beyond the confines of York city into the countryside where they discover an apparently deserted farm. Of course, it isn't really deserted but the question is are the locals more dangerous than the zombies?
Hannibal King and Tim Helsing have become separated from the team. It's down to Anna, Tim's long suffering girlfriend to defend the ill-fated production assistants from an axe-wielding maniac.
Remember the Alamo? Oh, we will never forget. The brotherhood is storming and Callie is reporting.
Yalls I hates nassee assez. Ets mainly why I stay sangle cauze mens mosely durty fukkers an I aint inta muchin down on no muff-cooter, so lesboisms is definitly out the picher. I speck I get defrenned far tellin sum yalls nassee habitz out here in the publix but iont care I jess get me sum new cleen frens. Peace out my nikkas-
Still coming to terms with the loss of third flatmate Hannah to the zombie infection, their flat and their sense of sanity, Tony and Miles decide to move on in their lives and find a replacement housemate. A great opportunity to bolster numbers, bring in fresh blood and ideas? Not as long as Tony has anything to do with it, things rapidly get complicated...
Tim and Poncho killed a dragon! AN ACTUAL DRAGON! Sadly, during the epic battle the tapes were destroyed and several dozen interns died... Time for breakfast!
Taint been a lotta invensherns over the corse a time that one wood say was ignurnt but they broke the mothafuckin ignurnt mold when they invented the twitters. Lawd Goddy Help. Twitters dummer en Laserdisc flashin in my pan. Is like how dey use ta say bein queer jess a fase but hunnert a years later folk still suckin dikk. Sumwun kills iss here twidders far me, en tweets me bout it.
Well hayull, cant be too bad a finanshul crises iffin these nappy hair hippies gots time to bitch they tents an bother folks wiff they bichy bichin an wall streets protessin. If yew gots time ta occupy, yew gots time ta shave ya goddamn legs iffin yew ask me.
New housemate secured, a new breeze of ambition blows through the Internet bloggers home as the new boy convinces Tony and Miles to come with him to a seminar on positive thinking in a zombie apocalypse. But just how far can positive thinking take you, even with team names, when you've been bitten by a ravenous zombie?
Tim Helsing, MONSTER HUNTER, is on patrol looking for vampires to smite when he bumps into fellow monster hunter Hannibal King. Things go very, very wrong.
Face facks is mose folks onlee gots ralijun fur same reesume dey gots insurance. In case a mergency an dey needa Godbase backup plan. Iont know what's I baleef anymore cuz all dem ralijuns souns like sum ego-center man tryna control slaves wiff buncha arbiter rules. I thank when I gits nuff fallers onlines I can git a tax zemp fur spreadin the gospel a Lo roun the wurl. Preeeech.
After a dismal experience with their new flatmate and his love for motivational seminars, Miles and Tony, the only remaining bloggers of the zombie apocalypse, settle into a bachelor pad lifestyle of living on condiments and discussing lifes great questions. At least they would if there wasn't a vast horde of zombies gathering outside the flat.
Production assistants are dying all over the place, in increasingly hilarious yet tragic ways! Will King and Helsing learn to work together and get at least one of them out there alive?
Y'all knows ain't got a prejice bone in my bodee, cept that time I was hired to git gangbang by that groopa Korean biznessmens at the downtown Little Rock HoJo what's was like an Asian KK that's hated blacks but I didn't know atta time so git offs my case bout dat shit. Enjoy this HISI an tryan ignore this darkmeet heffer steelin my spotlite. Guest Star: Jennifer Whitcomb-Oliva.
Life as a YouTubing MONSTER HUNTER can be tough. The endless mean comments, the threat of a dislike... and of course the fans. The terrifying, crazy fans. WIZARDS WITH BOOBS!
I cants date no bline man, I need sumwun can persheate all this hotness I got goine on. An don't nunyall sets me up onna date lessen I preprove the dude u pimpin me too. In related news...Lord pleese deliver me frum dis bitch I been chackled on for furever anna day. Goddamn I'm horned up, sumwun cum over an drill baby drill me soon dis pain-a-my-ass goze home. Guest Star: Jennifer Whitcomb-Oliva.
Nuff is nuff baby fakkries. Sumyall baby makers needsa closedown yur shop. Why has kids ennyway, jess more oxygen steelers if yunt my pinyun. We jess gone leave em a pollute-filled, cash strap nayshum, I wuddnt wunt bornt intono wurl like that, woods y'all? Less pray fur anarmageddin wipe us out soon.
Signal lost? Texas Declaration of Independence found! Laughter through tears is the best medicine.
Ummm idk call me a tradishnaliss, but I thank the human nekkid boddee a worka art unless yew a biggun, then yeah maybe shood be outlaw far fatties a be nekkid or outside they house wiffout a sheet covrn them. Who don't like sex ets juss stoop. We cayunt ban nudie mags, how else will youngins lern how to please they future fuckbudds? Uh DUHHHHHH!
I hate asshoes, fat fucks and pelicuns so yewall can jess magine how muchi hate an pray fur the deff of they king. Off wiff his hedd, pecker, legs, arums, whateva jess draw and quarter an tar an fevver hisself in a woodchipper jess like innat moovee. Goddamn if theys wun persun I cood get away wiff murdrin, it be this sumbich.
Chris Helsing, brother of our hero Tim, has come along on a vampire hunt. He has no skills, no powers, and an inner ear problem. Things are going to go catastrophically wrong for everyone.
The Brotherhood returns to Home Base. After a successful mission. What does the Popsicle man have in store for the baby?
Fank gods far womins voter anger an fack mose us got mamries like elfunts, hangin low an always membrin. Damn conserves gots all us biches pannies in a colleckive wad an make sureyall vote Bama far predent agin cause iffinyew don't we all gone be force ta carry would=-be brats at full term. Iffin it happen tho, hit me up an ill teech ya how to fall down stares so where only that lil parasite gets the brunt the fall an notchu.
Seems ever yeer theys sum hater dum sumbich tryna git a law pass thass juss retarded outrite. Well wunna dem closet cocksuckers tryna say we cayunt say gay nomores. Ets stooper en stoop. Sumwun otta give this lawmaker a furss rate demo on autosoticc fixertation only when ya wrap that belt roun an squeeze, don't never let go! GayGayGayGay see I sed it. Well I type it, aitn got my mikerphone hook up yet.
When a vampiric disease breaks out at Tim's very normal workplace turning the employees into blood thirsty maniacs... there's only one thing a MONSTER HUNTER can do. Bust out the holy staple guns.
Arrite I fank we needa focuss on ar own prollems an let whut happen in gannystans stay over in gannystan. They jusss start shit wiff day geehod tawk so we don't focuss on ar Travon martin shit an homeless youffs en ets how deez towl --warin hoodlems keeps ruinthe moral fiber a this grate cuntry. Now dat dats settle, nuke em brownees an take they orl while thaint lookin!!!
Now how cum we got have dis out agin, thout I made myself cleer when I sed aint nuffin wrong wiff fols wont to look purdee far they man are wimin pendin on whichway yur win blows. We needsa be boosterin up self esteems in these dark ages an helping the comony by makin sure the booty innustrey stay afloat, ets juss commun sense yalls.
Blood and guts coat the floor at Tim's offices as the body count piles up! Time for our hero to man up and kill his friends and colleagues. Sad face...
Now whas all the damn fuss now bouts deez stemmer cells? If we tess shit on rats folks frum peeta be bitchin but if we use kids, yougin avvocates be bichin, then Crisherns bich bout anything wiff fetus an ar cells. Jess shutup cause if they can stend my life wiff cloning me fer harvessin my orgins, then ets my bidness yew lemme git god's judgerment on my own turms.
I thank I been kinely cleer bout my levela desdains fur kids, yungins, punkass little peeples, whatevs ya wanna calls em wace of spaces. Now they gots they own show whar theys little booty pagit queens? All hell naw. I mean I thank it mite benefit them liluns a lil bit if them fat hefferettas lern that yew can only get take serussly inna wurl if yew gits yurself skinny.
Brucie and a bunch of blood-filled Redshirts are left to interview vampire and monster hunter Hannibal King, who is starting to get a twitch in his fangs...
Yall I jess lernt how ta use emails lass yeer so iont unnerstans how folks frum millyun mile away can see inna yur webbercam, speshly when I's rubbin ones out. But lissen, I been spishuss since I got shots and I knowed I got a ghose in my heds an in my masheen. Sumwun leeve me a whiches phone nummer if yew know wun so I can exercise dees computer virus deemuns.
Elle has a plan to help out American relations with the "Muslim World" - if only Kamal would get on board already.