Nuthin guess me more rile up than sumwun tryna tell me how ta talk an behayve an live my life. IT sez in tha Bill a Rites thet as Americans we can talk shit bout folk and if yyou dont like it, go ta hell ar liv in wun them cuntries where wimins gots ta ware sheets far clothes! N oh yeah I hates thet Pru bich.
Ya'll knows I aint no stranger to gettin my freak on. But theys rules, rules we gotta pass on to ar youngins. Folks say we shootnt talk sex to kids, an ta them I say ya'll livvin in a plasstik fuckin bubble. Betcha Sara Paylin wishiz she tawt old Brissle how to wrap a pekker, thets far dayum shur. Dum fuggin idgits!
The following footage was discovered by neighborhood children from a trailer park in Apple Springs, AR.
Yall evers notice thet the longer time marchez on the more gurls startin ta lookin like boys and boys dressin up like gurls an trannies gettin voted ta Prom Qween? We raisin kids in a gennerless suciety with these Jussin Beeber and Lady Gagas. Purty soon we aint gonna have no use for ar privets whichiz sad cuz I like my tiddies and my drankin buddies does too.
Lotta hate out thar in the wurl. I sware I thank it shood be illeegul ta use N words an the like, even if yous of that particular hate groop. I dont hayte on nowun cept if you ignurnt, then all you stoop bichez is fare game.
The ex-convicts meet each other on the first day of the support group and learn about how each of them were convicted and why. Melody, the group leader, explains the process of why they are there and what will happen.
Meeting Internet video bloggers Tony, Miles and Hannah for the first time, we find them rather underwhelmed about the apocalypse and running low on survival resources such as beans, tea and Hobnobs. Planning a daring shopping raid on the zombie infested local supermarket is the only option, so Hannah hides in the bathtub doing knitting, whilst Miles and Tony head out with a shopping list, about as much skill and courage as Shaun of the Dead and some useful weapons to deal with anything brain dead that comes along.
Paige (Jenna Dykes-Busby), the well intentioned manager of the Second Spoon Cafe receives bad news from its owner, Mr. Danson (Trent Wilkie). Meanwhile, tensions erupt between head chef Conrad (Ben Dextraze) and head server Milo (Ben Stevens).
Brook embarks on a 9-month journey...for the nanny of her dreams.
Kristen tries an old remedy before she and Clay take a big test.
The group learns about Barbara and her current life struggles. Someone realizes they have met another group member before.
Barricaded from the zombies at their shared flat, Internet video bloggers Tony, Hannah and Miles think they're safe shut inside; they saw Will Smith do it in I am Legend, Hannah even stays in the bath just to be absolutely certain... Of course, complacency is at least the second cousin of all F-ups, especially in an zombie plagued apocalypse, and it isn't long before night vision and Paranormal Activity style panic is required when something breaks into the flat...
Paige (Jenna Dykes-Busby) attempts to impose new restrictions during the evening staff meeting, with disastrous results.
As her pregnancy progresses, Brook lets her hormones do the interviewing.
Billy talks to the group about his life in the Greek Mob and his standup career.
Attempting to spread their social wings through the surviving Internet social network remnants of blogs, Twitter and Facebook, Miles, Tony and Hannah discover they are not the only survivors blogging the zombie apocalypse online. An opportunity to join forces and rebuild humanity? Not really, amidst debate over innuendo and veganism in a world infected with zombism any attempts at forming collective zombie killing groups quickly melts away.
Emily (Kristen Padayas) is stressed out, coping by taking the number one supplement for women... in Mexico. Much to the consternation of Paige (Jenna Dykes)
The only way to find the right nanny is to test-drive one.
Martha shares her life as an identity thief and her new found religion.
Like any exciting change, even a zombie apocalypse can get a bit stale, and Hannah, Tony and Miles find their thoughts turning to love and relationships, or at least the lack of them. Deciding to bring some romance to their lives Tony surprises everyone by landing a girlfriend first, though she's not quite what the others had in mind.
Chauvinist Chef Conrad (Ben Dextraze) has to share his precious kitchen space with the sarcastic baker (Georgia Irwin). Hijinks ensue!
The coming of the baby is imminent, having the right nanny isn't.
Fetal osmotic transference lands Scooter "with child". The beautiful experience of man birth is shared with previous mothers Yvonne and Rikki and baby daddy Justice. If that is not enough...Gina bears prophecy.
Ray discusses his past and current life with his wife Jenny. Thorah make a shocking confession.
The whole point of a blog is international reach or audience potential, and Miles, Tony and Hannah discover that most of human race being wiped out by a zombie apocalypse isn't as big a problem for view counts and international interest as may be expected when a new survivor turns up at their flat having seen their video blogs online, all the way from New Zealand! But can the trio of bloggers trust this new arrival? They'd best make sure...
If Milo (Ben Stevens) can handle the annoying Chesterfield (Charles Gahl) and a pushy Paige (Jenna Dykes-Busby), his concert at the Second Spoon Cafe will be the first step on his path to fame and fortune. Right?
A glimpse into Brook's dream nanny.
Jesus talks about his current life, where he lives, his job as a tour guide and why he doesn't care about family.
The big season one finale, and our intrepid video bloggers Tony, Miles and Hannah decide to head to the local cinema to watch a series of short films they have created; an extreme movie premiere for the zombie apocalypse! Things go smoothly until they get to the cinema to find it over-run with zombies, sure to ruin their viewing pleasure as much as an annoying kid with noisy sweets kicking the back of your chair.
Chef Conrad (Ben Dextraze) is cooking for important local food critic, David Tyler (Stuart Hoye). Will this be the review that finally boosts business? Or will it break the Second Spoon Cafe once and for all?
Like you really need a description for this one. (i.e. Brook went into labor in the middle of writing this)
After serving over 30 minutes of hard time in the slammer, Gina falls into a deep sleep and has a dream which is one part pure weirdness and one part mystical prophecy. What will happen? Only the future and a roll of toilet paper knows for sure.
Monisa shares her new life as a homegirl and why she hates her old friends. Another group member makes a serious accusation against someone.
A health inspector (Vicktoria Adam) plans to shut down the Second Spoon Cafe, unless Milo (Ben Stevens) can stop her.
Yew ever herd a word 'You cant keepa good bich down?' Yeah Ima guessin whoever done cum in an shot me aint think to lern that wun. Lucky theys a mettle plate over my ticker frum when I's in the furss Gulf Oil War. Still, nunyall biches call 911 ar nuthin so yall fuck off far that. Still, reckun Lord let me live so I could brang more trooths to the wurl. Amens mutherfuckers.
Thorah reluctantly shares details about her life. The group learns she may be connected to someone else in the group.
Mr. Danson (Trent Wilkie) has an important meeting with Paige (Jenna Dykes-Busby), while Janice (Georgia Irwin) wants time off.
Gina delivers the manifesto. Toilet paper paves the way.
Hells yeah yall knows when the leevs fall an all its time to sellbrate the real sport pasttime, not no fuckin borin ass baseball, that aint reely a sport anyway if yew cant get kilt in it. Its football time an as yew can tell, I kinely excited far it! PS. Fuck u Steeelers, I hope yew have stillborn babees, far yew rapiss quarterback!!!
Hari talks about his life and his wife. Connections within the group start to come together.
On the eve of Shark Week, Paige (Jenna Dykes-Busby), calls a staff meeting about the Second Spoon's impending demise.
Yall can laff ats me now, but jess yall waiten see. I predicked it here furss thet zombeez gonna cum real not jess far in the movees neether. This where it pay ta be skinny yet again in lifes cause fatties be the furss wuns get ate up cause they slow and purvide lotsa zombee food while ressuvuss gets way. Hell maybe fatties good far sumthin afferall. HEH!
A final discussion with Melody and an unexpected interruption stops the group meeting.
The staff of the Second Spoon brainstorm on how they can save their jobs. Will they succeed? Or will Aunt Betty's put them out of business... permanently?
The baby has spoken. Justice is listening. Callie is calculating. The Alamo is calling.
Yall now lets get seryuss cause its votin time agin an that means it a hole nuther yeer uv election hubabalooba we gotta endurr while yet agin nunna these muthereffers gonna actually do no work while they try an get Obama job...No matter the retults I thank wecan all ritely agree this heffer Ima discuss needa quit soon, she bout a fukken retard. Maryin a queer jussa pleeze God,Isware dumm wimenz...Ihate her horeface. Hell I votefor her if you got ta vote by puttin a brick in a sock and swang it at her heds! HEHEHEHEHEHEHhhh.
Lord, seems yew cant swang yer tiddy wiffout hittin a gay-lesba-trangenert youngin on the TV these days. Whut kinda wurl is it when they lets grown wimins in a boys locker room, i dont care she they coach, full on dike ar not! Ohio a weerd place yall, everwun I knows frum there is kinely queer, kinely crazy an mose times boaf!
Seems that ever genrayshun theys sum group in humankine gotsa deal with inquality in laws an how succiety treets a fella man. This centry, it the queers turn and case anywun wundrin, I got theys backs cause them fuckers luv ya girl Lo here. NOM is like a KKK wiffout no sheets!!!
Everyone is on a mission. The Brotherhood Telethon seeks recruits. Scooter chases Rikki's heart. The Popsicle Man infiltrates studio!
Shalom, SimSallaBim an all that Jewish Jazz, ya'll. We tryna be more global wiff ar holerday speshul this year. Hope yall Jews don't mine I gets inna spirit and dons me a YomKipper hat and ya'lls jew curls. Don't come tryna cicrumscrape me ya'll! LaKime! Long Live my Fiddler on the Roof Drankin Buddees!